


Third Time's A Charm

by yvestories



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Break Up, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Moving On, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-22 10:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30037149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yvestories/pseuds/yvestories
Summary: In which Jo Haseul, a famous singer, tells the story of why she’s single. Basically, a story of why those three relationships didn’t work out for her.
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Jo Haseul, Jo Haseul/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip, Jo Haseul/Viian Wong | ViVi
Kudos: 5





	1. My Name is Haseul

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this would be my first story here on AO3 and I've been casually following LOONA this past year and I decided to write something about my favorite people. I hope I won't disappoint and wish you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She’s irrevocably vocal about herself, especially about her sexual preference. Many people wanted to be with her and some people dislike her just because they wanted to be her. She’s Haseul, and her secret’s about to unfold soon.

Staring at the ceiling, casually side-eyeing the clock that reads 4 o’clock lies a girl sitting on a spacious sofa. She’s beyond irritated, as usual but she doesn’t let the others know. Time’s precious for her and being one of the most sought-after singers in South Korea gave her the responsibility to not only be punctual but to respect other people’s time as well.

It’s been one hour and thirty-three minutes since she came, not that she’s counting but it’s been dead silence by then. The producers and staff couldn’t give her an answer on why they’re delaying the shoot. She’s a busy person, and them being unprofessional like this irked her to the core. She doesn’t want to work with people like them again.

She looked at her manager, obviously giving her an eye on why it’s being delayed. Her manager and long-time friend Chaewon just shrugged. 

One of the younger staff came to her and brought a cup of coffee to her and she scoffed.

“Do you think drinking coffee would solve anything? I’m a very busy person too, you know?” She’s obviously irritated, but who wouldn’t? They’re being unprofessional right now.

Just then, her manager walked towards her, smiled at the staff and took the coffee that was supposed to be for her.

“I’m very sorry for the delay, it’s just the host of this interview got stuck in traffic but she’s just five minutes away.” the staff told them.

“I woke at 9 in the morning to have breakfast, did my morning routine, didn’t even have lunch because the interview was supposed to be at 3 o’clock and my dorm is apparently two hours from here, I adjusted perfectly, thinking about the traffic and any disturbances that would happen - you know? Like accidents and suchs. But I’m still here, earlier by 30 minutes. I keep on asking you people why we are delaying this shoot since an hour ago. Now the only answer you’re going to give me is that she got stuck in traffic? Please, you’re so unprofessional.” 

As she’s exploding to the young staff, she hears the door opening and there she saw the smiling figure of someone she’s acquainted with. She rolled her eyes at the younger staff and went back sitting on the sofa.

“Chill Seul, just focus on this one and I’ll do anything you want.” her manager said.

Haseul looked at her manager and smirked. 

“Anything?” she asked innocently.

“Yeah, sure.”

Haseul pondered for a moment and smiled.

“I want this to be her last gig ever.” she shrugged nonchalantly, pointing to the host who had no idea she would be unemployed after this.

“Consider it a done deal.” Chaewon smiled back.

Another ten minutes have passed and there lies Haseul, still sitting on the sofa watching someone on screen waiting for her cue to enter the set. She wasted almost half her day just to wait for this witch in front of her. She can’t help but smirk thinking the girl’s going to be unemployed later.

“Behave.” she whispered to herself.

The cameras started rolling at the sound of the slate being used by the director. This is it. Haseul’s been waiting for it since last week when she found out she’s going to be featured on ‘THE GROUND’ - one of the most popular shows in South Korea.

‘THE GROUND’ is an open-book like show that focuses mainly on famous idols, actors, actresses, and TV personalities and the questions that the general public can’t ask them. They answer truthfully and accurately if they don’t want the show to expose it themselves. It’s a harsh but funny show, and being in it makes you even more popular after - and that’s what Haseul is after.

“Hello everyone, today would be a very special episode for us especially for Orbits. I’m one myself and I’m very honored and excited that I would be the one interviewing one of the most talented people in all Korea. Without further ado, let me welcome, ½ of LOONA - Jo Haseul.” the host said and the staff and viewers started clapping their hands.

Haseul confidently walked from the backstage and smiled - her idol smile. Chaewon said she has two sets of smiles, one that is purely business which she’s using now. And one that she usually doesn’t give to people, her genuine smile which made her eyes disappear. She lost it sometime two years ago - back when she was just starting to be a singer. Back when she first met Chaewon, back when she’s still with someone.

She smiled and bowed at everyone. Everyone just loves her. She’s ranked #1 on all ages on the poll ‘Who would you want to spend your White Day be?’ and she’s also ranked #2 on ‘Who would you want your parents to meet as your special someone?’ just falling slightly behind on her member, Kim Hyunjin. Hyunjin is a literal goddess in Haseul’s opinion so she accepts defeat. In short, LOONA is very popular in South Korea.

People follow them everywhere they go - they wanted to be them.They are popular overseas too, in fact they just came back from a three-month concert tour around north america. Haseul’s schedule is so packed she doesn’t even have time for herself, that’s why time’s so important for her - because time’s the very thing she’s lacked before.

Haseul sat down and smiled at the host in front of her. “Hello everyone, I’m LOONA’s Haseul. Thank you for having me here.” she said politely.

Haseul’s a very polite and respectful person that’s why you must suck very bad if she becomes disinterested and annoyed at you, just like this girl in front of her.

“It’s an honor to finally meet you Haseul-ssi. I’m a very big fan of LOONA.” the host said and it made Haseul’s heart happy.

She really loves her fans - Orbits, what they call them. They’ve been with them through thick and thin. May it be cold weather shootings, summer-related activities, they’ve always been with them. That’s why she always appreciates them. There’s no way she’s going to be the Haseul she is now if not because of them, she’s always thankful.

“Thank you so much, my heart is so happy right now.” she smiled - her real one now.

The host smiled at her and urged her to feel comfortable with her, as if it’s just the two of them talking and Haseul nodded. She tends to be shy at times, especially when she's not used to not being around Hyunjin whenever she has activities. It’s always the two of them, but with her solo song coming out in a week she needs to promote by herself.

“So many people have been asking about you. I mean, they only know what they read about you online and they, I mean we are meaning to know the real Jo Haseul behind the camera. Can you tell us about yourself? Your hobbies, or something that keeps you interested whenever you’re not working?” the host asked eagerly.

Haseul pondered for a moment before smiling.

“Oh, you mean when I get lazy?” She jokes and the audience laugh. “I actually don’t have a hobby. For real. I’m not like Hyunjin who’s into sports, I also rarely watch movies or anything related. I’m the real definition of lazy - just someone who lays in the bed all day listening to music. If you’re talking about what I do during my free days - uh, I think I play the piano and write songs. That would be the proper answer that I should give,” she laughs. “Can you cut what I said earlier. The first one.” Haseul asked the director jokingly and the audience laughed with her.

“So you’re saying you’re just all of us? You like to be lazy like us?” the host joked.

“Definitely. I’m just human after all.” she laughed.

“You’re here for the first time to promote your single, can you tell us about it? How did you prepare for it and it’s also the first time you’re alone without Kim Hyunjin. Can you tell us how you’re feeling?” 

Haseul looked at Chaewon backstage and smiled.

“It was incredible.” she continued, “This would be my first time without Hyunjin and of course it’s a new experience for me not just as an artist but as a person as well. It helped me grow to become mature and responsible, not that I’m not but I guess I became more aware of the people around me. Being thankful for them, not leaving by my side. I also helped with producing it and making the lyrics myself. I’m proud of myself even more because of it and also to the people who helped me. It was worth the wait, I guess.” she smiled. 

The people on the set all smiled looking proudly at Haseul. 

“What were the difficulties in making this album?” the host asked.

“I guess the most difficult part of it was putting the lyrics that I made - tweaking it a bit just to make it more appealing and suitable for the music. The melody of the song is actually a little bit fast and upbeat compared to the lyrics, which I meant it to be a mellow, and ballad-y type. But overall, it’s perfect as it is. I’m proud of it.” she replied.

“Since we’re talking about the lyrics and you saying that you made it yourself. Was there any implication that it’s based on what you’re experiencing or experienced before? Can you tell us a bit more about the lyrics of the song?” the host added.

Haseul paused for a bit, contemplating on whether she should just tell and get over it or lie,

“Yes I made the lyric composition myself and yes - it’s what I’ve been experiencing myself. It’s like a question for myself actually, that’s why I wrote it. I need to answer myself whether I should just move forward and let go of everything that hurt me in the past or reminisce again and again because once in my life - it made me really happy. That’s why I named it ‘Fall Again’” she decided to tell the truth.

“The lyrics are quite sappy and if I would be the one to hear it the first time, I would say it’s very sentimental and emotional - but I guess that’s what I really felt about it.” she continued.

Haseul looked at Chaewon and her friend’s giving her an encouraging smile that says she’s proud of her.

“When did you start writing the lyrics?”

“I wrote it on my way back to my hometown, after Hyunjin and I promoted ‘Butterfly.’ That place I grew up with held so many memories in my heart, I’ve known people from when I was still a child. Met people who made me become who I am today. I guess that’s basically it.” she replied.

“I met someone whom I thought I’d never see again…” she paused. 

“...my worst mistake.” she finished.

They have a thirty-minute break and Haseul feels tired. Her feet are getting numb and she’s a bit hungry because she didn’t eat lunch. After their little break, she’s once again sitting in front of many people and will start answering questions again.

“And we’re back. We learned a little bit more about Haseul and now this segment is going to be very personal. It’s ‘Spill or Feel.’” the host said.

‘Spill or Feel’ is the most awaited segment of this show. It’s basically about something you’ll tell to the people, something that you never told before - basically a secret no one knows about and you’ll reveal it for the whole world to know. Or, choose the other option and you’ll be feeling what you’re afraid most - in Haseul’s world, a bird.

“I heard that you’re scared of birds?” the host asked and Haseul immediately stiffened.

She would rather tell all of her embarrassing stories than to actually hold a bird for five minutes.

“You know the rules Haseul, you either answer our questions truthfully. Or you get to hug this cute bird for five minutes and we’ll still reveal the truth. So there’s no way but to answer honestly.” the host smiled.

Haseul has decided the first time she accepted the offer of going into this show that she’s just going to be honest and answer all the questions and get over it.

“Okay, I will just answer your questions. Please, no birds.” she pleaded, horror evident in her eyes.

The audience laughed and the staff put the birds away, for the meantime.

“First question, Jo Haseul have you had hook-ups with a co-worker?” 

Haseul looked at Chaewon and gulped. She never knew it. Haseul never told her but it’s just once. 

“Yes, I have had.”

The audience went wild and Chaewon almost went inside the set to stop the interview but everyone was just laughing and clapping their hands.

“Can you tell us a little bit about it? An initials maybe…”

“It was once. We were drunk and it happened. Initials? Uh, S.” she answered truthfully.

It was the truth though, she and Joy from Red Velvet were both drunk and - you know what happened.

“Okay I won’t ask you to elaborate it more. Let’s ask you the next question. Are you dating someone right now?” 

“Right now? No. I’m focusing on LOONA and work.” she said.

“So Haseul-ssi is single everyone. Now, you’re not dating someone as of this moment. But have you had any exes? How many are there?” the host intrigues.

“I had three exes.” she simply said.

“We need to know all about them… can you start with your first ex?”

Haseul tightens her grip on the sofa. 

“I was sixteen then, her name’s Sooyoung. Ha Sooyoung…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear Haseul sing to Fall Again. Must be heaven on Earth. Talk to me on twitter @yvestories


	2. The Girl With The Prettiest Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She fell in love with her eyes that screams she'll always believe in her. Her laughter that says 'I love you for who you are.' But most importantly - her smile. Her smile who used to be present whenever Haseul felt alone. Whenever she'd be doubting herself, Sooyoung would smile and tell her everything's going to be okay.
> 
> The smile that used to be her favorite, now scarred Haseul for the rest of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suggest you try listening to this as you read this chapter, https://open.spotify.com/track/1DP0uwV6tMlCEfR61Mh7ki?si=Cb7Rkdu4S9Guz-QXEjbPnw
> 
> [>] Dear Name - IU

_ “I will wait for a long time, I will definitely find you.” _

  
  
  
  


Haseul looked at the floor as she remembered the name she used to always talk to. It was her favorite word, until suddenly it wasn’t anymore.

  
  
  


When Haseul was young she used to live in Goyang alongside her mother, younger sister Yeojin, and grandmother. Her dad passed away when she was two years old so any recollection of him is probably buried in her small and petite body that time. Haseul is also a sickly child then, she’s asthmatic and is not fond of playing and running with other children. 

  
  


So when she reached five years old - she would used to accompany her three-year old sister in the park in front of their house. She would only watch her though, she can’t play outdoor games that well. She also doesn’t want to risk her mom buying another medication for her since money is scarce back then as they’re not very well-off that time. Haseul would sit and lay her back on a tree and would watch Yeojin play with her friends. She’s happy that way though, seeing her sister happy.

  
  
  


It was Saturday, Haseul’s favorite day of the week. She and Yeojin are supposed to go to the park and play but suddenly her little sister felt sick. Yeojin’s burning hot and this must means she can’t go out and admire the nature, just like what she always do. Haseul’s grandmother asked her to buy medicine in the small pharmacy near them. She would always admire the environment around her so it’s still a win-win situation for her.

  
  


As she was nearing the pharmacy, she noticed that there must be a party in it as well. The small pharmacy is owned by their kind neighbor who used to be high school friends with her mom that’s why they’re fairly acquainted. She heard from weeks before that their neighbor’s daughter is going to stay here for the summer, since school’s on vacation. 

  
  
  
  


“It must be the reason why there’s a party.” she said to herself.

  
  
  


As she was waiting in line, someone bumped into her that made her fall. Haseul’s very sensitive to bumps and falls because she’s scared that she might get into an accident and that her mom would pay for her medical bills. That’s why she’s overly-sensitive about it.

  
  
  


“Oops, sorry.” a girl about her age said, helping Haseul to get up.

  
  
  


Haseul eyed the girl - she was a bit taller than the said girl. She had a long-black hair, eyes looking mischievous, and had a set of bunny teeth in front. The girl’s very beautiful - Haseul isn’t used to seeing girls like that. All she’s familiar with are girls about her age who are almost like her. Girls who play in the sun, girls who are rambunctious like her, girls who play both robots and dolls - not someone who looks like she hasn't played outside.

  
  


“Thank you and no problem. It’s fine. Though it’s better that you mind and care whenever you’re running since you might bump into people and some people are much more sensitive than me. Just saying.” Haseul shrugged.

  
  


The girl looked at Haseul looking slightly offended and Haseul can’t help but to feel sorry.

  
  


“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you or something. It’s just that-” she was cut off by the girl who suddenly laughed so hard and can’t help but make Haseul confused.

  
  


“Pretty girl, it’s fine. No one was offended.” the girl replied.

  
  


Pretty girl? She just called Haseul pretty and it made the girl blush.

  
  
  


“Haseul. Haseul’s my name.” she said, pink still evident on her cheeks.

  
  
  


“Pretty name for an even prettier girl. My name is Sooyoung, I live there.” pointing in the house beside the small pharmacy.

  
  
  


Haseul nodded and the girl continued, “Say you haven’t seen me around here right? I’m kind of new here. I used to study in Seoul, that's why I’m not always around… But I’m now going to stay here and you’ll get to see me often.”

  
  
  


“I didn’t actually ask…” Haseul mumbled to herself.

  
  
  


The girl stared at her, “I just wanted to tell you. Isn’t it obvious? We’re friends now.” 

  
  
  


“Friends?” Haseul asked herself, still not sure if she heard it right. Never once in her life she had friends except for Yeojin, so she couldn’t quite believe it.

  
  


Sooyoung looked at her as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

  
  
  


“Yes we’re friends now, and now as you’re my first friend here I want you to tour me around… Also Haseul, how old are you?” 

  
  
  


“I can't, I'm quite busy… I’m five years old.” Haseul replied.

  
  
  


“What? Why? It’s Saturday and besides it’s also summer vacation. For sure you ain’t busy to do anything? I’m five as well, that makes us friends for real.” Sooyoung asked.

  
  
  


“Actually, my sister is sick and my grandmother asked me to buy medicine for her. That’s why I’m here.” the older girl replied, pointing at the pharmacy.

  
  
  


“Oh, sorry for keeping you on your errand then. Go on, I guess I’ll just see you again.” Sooyoung said, slightly disappointed.

  
  
  


Haseul pondered for a moment before answering, “Actually, it’s Sunday tomorrow and I am supposed to be studying piano… if you wanted to join me, you can… Of course if you want, not that we’re friends or anything but-” 

  
  


Sooyoung laughed again. “I get it Haseul, and yeah why not? I would love to hear you playing the piano. I always wanted to see someone playing an instrument because I like hearing music and it’s a good thing you play it.” 

  
  
  


“It’s not that I’m good or-”

  
  
  


That was technically a lie. Haseul is totally gifted in playing the piano. That’s why even though they aren’t well-off, her mother made sure to buy Haseul her own keyboard and enroll her to a music teacher who specializes in teaching piano. She knew the potential that Haseul has and many people thought so too. It’s just Haseul’s too hard on herself, she can’t see the other’s appreciating her music thinking it’s just a waste of time… and Sooyoung will prove Haseul that it isn’t.

  
  
  
  
  


**“She was the one who taught me to follow and do what I like. I love playing the piano but I’m too scared to admit it to my mom because we aren’t born rich. There are much more important things to do than me learning how to play the piano, but Sooyoung believed in me. At least she used to.” Haseul told the host.**

  
  
  


**The host looked at her cue card and smiled.**

  
  


**“What is the most difficult thing you experienced growing up? And does Sooyoung in your life help you in a way?”**

  
  
  
  
  


It was the day after Sooyoung and Haseul met and the older girl was on her way to her house. She promised her she’ll fetch her and bring her to her house. Fortunately, even though Haseul and her family aren’t well off she has her own room. So she could focus on her study and playing her piano, at least they would have a little privacy in there. 

  
  


_ “You’re late.”  _ the younger girl said, while leaning on their gate.

  
  
  


Haseul was indeed very late, and for the record she’s always late.  _ When she turned 24 though she’ll realize the importance of time.  _

  
  
  


_ “I’m sorry, I overslept.”  _ she said.

  
  


Lie. Haseul was actually awake since 8 o’clock but she’s been overthinking to cancel her meeting with Sooyoung because she’s scared of what the younger girl will tell if she knows that Haseul isn’t well-off like herself.

  
  


Sooyoung won’t even tell her that, she would accept Haseul whole-heartedly like an angel she was.

  
  
  


The younger girl stared at her obviously catching the lie but didn’t say anything.  _ “It’s fine, I just got out as well.”  _

  
  


Lie. Sooyoung kept on looking out of her room’s window since three hours ago to see if Haseul had come, but she wouldn’t admit it to the older girl.

  
  
  
  


_ “So… are we going or not?”  _ the younger girl asked.

  
  


Haseul was flustered.

  
  
  


_ “Y-Yes. Just so you know before I bring you to my house… please, know that we don’t have a large house like yours. We don’t have a second floor, it’s cramped, and my room is very small… might be much smaller than yours so please don’t expect anything-”  _ Haseul was mumbling and was interrupted by the shorter girl.  _ “Haseul, relax. It’s fine. I don’t mind. I promise.”  _ Sooyoung smiled and the older girl nodded.

Haseul led the way into their house and Sooyoung was just following her, admiring the beautiful view in front of her. After a few minutes, Haseul stopped in front of a traditional korean home in front of a small park with a pond in it.

  
  


_ “We’re here.”  _ the older girl looked at her.

  
  


Sooyoung can’t believe her eyes. The environment Haseul living in is so pleasant in her eyes. The air is so clean and it’s so refreshing as well.

  
  


_ “Wow, you’re so lucky! You live in such a nice place and I’m not even lying.”  _ the younger girl said in awe.

  
  


Haseul could see the honesty in Sooyoung’s eyes and it made her happy and felt proud of it. It’s true, their home might not be big compared to other people but it’s full of love, warmth, and it definitely has the best view throughout their whole city.

  
  
  


_ “Come in, my grandmother is waiting for us.”  _ she said and the younger girl followed her closely.

  
  
  


Sooyoung met Haseul grandmother and felt special as she learned that she’s the first friend Haseul brought home. Her experience in their house is completely different to what upbringing she had. Sooyoung might be five and young but she’s alone. 

  
  


Growing up to be the only daughter of a famous lawyer in Seoul and a pharmacist, Ha Sooyoung was taught to be upright, modest, and must have proper manners and etiquette. She’s not used to playing with people like Haseul but with different reasons. Sooyoung's parents don't let her play with kids around her age saying that she needs to study hard as she’s going to be a lawyer like her dad. 

Her parents aren’t exactly on good terms, hence, the reason why she’s in Seoul and her mother in Goyang. Sooyoung’s parents aren’t together anymore but being the public figure her dad was, they never really got divorced. Her dad also wants her to take law when she gets into college and study in Seoul, but Sooyoung convinced him to let her study and live with her mom at least until she’s in high school.

After enough convincing, her dad finally agreed on the terms that she must study hard and make her parents proud which she gladly agrees.

  
  
  


When they went inside Haseul’s room, the older girl nudged her to sit beside her on the bed but the younger refused and sit on the keyboard chair instead.

  
  
  
  


_ “Your grandmother is nice.”  _ Sooyoung commented.

  
  


Haseul smiled and nodded,  _ “Of course, she’s one of the most important person in my life.”  _

  
  


_ “Am I part of it too?”  _ the younger asked which made the older blushed.  _ “...just joking. I know we just met-”  _

  
  
  


_ “I want you to be.”  _ Haseul interrupted and made Sooyoung smile.

  
  
  
  


_ “I’d like that.” _

  
  
  
  


Haseul and Sooyoung instantly became best friends and classmates as well. They stuck through thick and thin - both graduating elementary school with honors which made their parents very proud.

  
  
  
  


_ “Seul, do you think we’ll be best friends forever?” ‘the  _ slightly taller than Haseul’ Sooyoung asked.

  
  
  


Haseul smiled at her best friend and answered,  _ “Forever and ever.” _

  
  
  
  


Haseul and Sooyoung are going to be high school students in a year and the older is internally panicking inside her room with Sooyoung watching her amusedly while laying in her bed.. They’ve been together as friends for years and now they’re fifteen and the pressure’s creeping into Haseul’s head.

  
  


_ “What if we fail the high school admission test? What are we going to do? I mean, what am I going to do? You have your rich parents to back you up in case you fail but me- I would be a disgrace to everyone in my family.”  _ Haseul rant.

  
  


_ “Jo Haseul-ssi, listen to me. You won’t fail anything because you’re the brightest girl I’ve ever known.”  _ Sooyoung reassured her while smiling.

  
  


_ “It’s just, you know… my one shot at everything. If I fail this, I won’t have any other option.”  _ Haseul rebutted.

  
  


_ “You’re a very intelligent person, hardworking as well. They’re idiots if they fail you. Trust me.”  _

  
  
  
  


Haseul indeed passes the exam nine months later alongside her best friend Sooyoung, a new chapter begins in their life as they would be high school students in two months.

  
  
  
  


**Haseul pondered for a minute before answering, “The most difficult thing growing up?” she smiled sadly as she reminisced, “...loving someone who cannot love you back.”**

  
  
  
  


Something’s bothering Haseul for quite a while now and she cannot understand why. She wanted to try asking her sister about it but Yeojin must not have an answer. She also tried asking her mom about it but she’s left unanswered. She wanted to ask Sooyoung as well, but this happens whenever Sooyoung was near her.

  
  
  


She felt something weird inside her stomach whenever Sooyoung was around. That’s why it’s been three weeks since she’s last seen the younger girl. It’s not that she’s avoiding the latter, she just can’t explain the weird feeling she’s having whenever she’s with her - so avoiding is inevitable. Of course, being best friends for ten years - being together for years you’re so close that you would know when the other girl is avoiding you, and Sooyoung wonders why.

  
  
  


Sooyoung’s been reaching out for days, calling Haseul’s phone only to be directed into voice mail. Asking Yeojin instead only to know that the older girl is just by her room or sometimes having Heejin around. Heejin is their neighbor who moved into the house next to Jo's three years ago. Sooyoung isn’t exactly fond of the younger girl, thinking that she’s taking Haseul away from her.

  
  


Sooyoung’s very confused about Haseul's behavior and the only thing that she felt like doing is going directly to the older girl’s house and talking to her personally. She was sure something’s bothering Haseul but she cannot directly pinpoint what. As she was about to knock on their gate, she saw Haseul - along with Heejin from the window, casually talking and laughing about something in the living room. With a heavy heart, Sooyoung left.

  
  
  


Tomorrow’s the first day of Haseul being a high school student and as much as she’s excited, she’s kind of sad. You see, throughout the remainder of the summer - Sooyoung never really reached out to her. She knows it’s partly her fault, avoiding her. But Sooyoung isn’t any better, she thought she’s more than that - someone who’s just going to ignore her presence. I mean, they’ve been together for ten years, and the only thing Haseul got from the younger girl is a text that says she won’t be able to walk with Haseul on the first day of school and the older girl hated her for that.

  
  


That was their tradition, walking with each other together on the first day of school. They walked together during their kindergarten days, elementary days, and even on their middle school days. And Sooyoung would just throw away everything just because of the stupid feeling Haseul feels that made her avoid the latter.

  
  
  


_ “I can’t believe she’s ditching our yearly tradition.”  _ Haseul mumbled on herself.

  
  
  


Haseul woke up through her alarm clock. It’s the first day of school and she’s not feeling good to go because of two reasons. (1) Sooyoung isn’t with her to go together and (2) she’s very shy, and Sooyoung not by her side made her anxious. In short, she can’t do anything without the younger girl and guilt is creeping through her veins. If not because of those stupid and unknown feeling she’ll be with her best friend. 

  
  


Yeojin knocked into her room and saw her older sister still laying on the bed. She rolled her eyes and shouted,  _ “Sooyoung-unnie is waiting for you outside. I would get ready for school if I were you.”  _ Haseul was definitely startled. She thought Sooyoung was angry at her. She can’t help but wonder what changed her best friend’s mind. She immediately went to her bathroom and took a bath. After approximately twenty minutes, Haseul went out of her room and saw the person she misses for almost a month because of her stupidity. __

  
  


_ “Hey.”  _ the younger girl said, Haseul really missed that voice.

  
  


_ “Hi. I thought you’re not coming?”  _ she asked, curious as to why her best friend changed her mind.

  
  
  


Sooyoung shrugged as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

  
  
  
  


_ “I can’t afford breaking our tradition. It will make you upset.”  _

  
  
  


As they were walking, silence engulfed them. For ten years, this would be the most awkward encounter they had with each other. Yes they had fights and arguments but not close to this. They wouldn’t last not talking to each other for more than three days.

  
  
  


_ “Sooyoungie?”  _ the older girl asked.

  
  


_ “Hm?”  _

  
  
  


_ “Are you mad at me?” _

  
  
  
  


_ “Do you want me to be honest?”  _ Sooyoung stopped walking and looked her in the eye. The older girl nodded her head.

  
  
  


_ “Come, let’s sit here for a bit. It’s the first day, no one would scold us for being late.”  _ Sooyoung sat on the bench near their school gate and the older girl followed.

  
  
  


_ “Twenty-five days. Twenty-five days of us not talking. I don’t know if I did something wrong to upset you… but if I did, I’m sorry.”  _ Sooyoung said sincerely.

  
  


Haseul shook her head, not wanting any apology from the younger girl. She hasn’t done anything wrong and if there’s someone who needs to say sorry, it’s her.

  
  


_ “Please tell me you’re not mad at me… I can’t afford you being mad.”  _ the younger girl mumbled, almost whispering.

  
  
  


Haseul hugged her best friend tightly, it’s unusual for her to overthink. Sooyoung looked like she’s going to cry if she talked more.

  
  


_ “Hey, hey, listen to me. I’m not mad okay? Also you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me. It’s not your fault.”  _ she said, reassuring the younger girl.

  
  
  


_ “If it’s not my fault then why are you ignoring me? If you’re not mad then why are you avoiding me? I’ve been thinking a lot these past few days wondering if I’ve done something that’ll make you mad or avoid you like that… is it because of my feelings?”  _ Sooyoung asked.

  
  
  


_ “Feelings? What feelings?”  _ the older girl asked, confused.

  
  
  


Sooyoung took a deep breath and sigh.

  
  
  


_ “Seulie, it’s fine. I know that you don’t like me the way I like you and I clearly understand that. I wanted our friendship to last forever and if my feelings are making you uncomfortable then I understand. I would rather ignore what I feel for you than lose you completely. I can’t afford losing you in my life.”  _ the younger said.

  
  


Like? What?

  
  
  


_ “Wait- what do you mean like? I can’t follow you.”  _ Haseul asked, clearly confused.

  
  
  


Sooyoung looked at her in disbelief. They’re clearly not on the same page.

  
  
  


_ “Haseul. I like you, not in a friend's way or anything. I like you as in I wanted to date you, to kiss you, to be with you. I mean we do that as friends but Seulie, I wanted to become more for you. I wanted to be the person you think whenever you’re happy, want to be that someone to wipe your tears away, someone who will always believe in you. Haseul you deserve to be happy, and I wanted you to be happy with me. I like you for the longest time… can’t even remember if it’s the way you rolled your eyes the first time we met and I bumped into you. All I know is that I like you, and I wanted to take care of you the way you deserved to be taken care of. Only if you let me…”  _

  
  


Haseul can see the honesty in Sooyoung’s words. She never thought her best friend feels that way for her since the younger girl would always tease her, would always make fun of her. She never knew that she feels the same way too, not until Sooyoung confessed.

  
  
  


_ “Sooyoung… the reason why I avoided you these past few weeks is that I keep on feeling something whenever I’m with you. I tried to avoid and ignore you but the feelings just keep on hurting those times I never talked to you. Now it all makes sense - I like you too. I like you more than what friends should be.”  _ Haseul confessed and it made the younger girl smile.

  
  
  


_ “So Jo Haseul, can I date you?”  _

  
  
  


_ “Only if you would let me date you too.” _

  
  
  
  
  
  


Sooyoung and Haseul’s life as a couple were very much normal - they argue, they fought a lot, they bicker here and there, but they also can’t live without each other. They were each other’s first kiss. They would always understand each other, always complement each other. While Haseul is the shy, level-headed one, Sooyoung is the outgoing, friendly, and the one who would always remind the older girl to enjoy life as if you're only living once. Sooyoung’s cool composure always makes Haseul grateful. They’re not perfect, but it’s a perfect love.

  
  
  
  


**“So, you told us about how you and Ha Sooyoung became girlfriends. Now, can you tell us how you broke up? What happened to the perfect love?” the host sincerely asked Haseul.**

  
  
  


Haseul smiled bitterly, as if it only happened yesterday.

  
  
  


**“As time goes by, I realized that there’s no perfect love - only imperfect people trying so hard to make it one… and then not realizing that the more effort they make to make it perfect, the bond and the foundation they have in their relationship is slowly breaking apart.” Haseul replied.**

  
  
  


**“That’s too deep… imagine loving someone that you’re sure you’ll end up with not knowing you’ll end up breaking up in the end. Must’ve been so hard…” the host sighed.**

  
  


Haseul can’t help but laugh and agree. It’s been years and she thought she’s okay now talking about Sooyoung but she can’t help but to feel lost, as if it’s still a sensitive topic for her. After all, she didn’t just lose a lover, but a best friend as well.

  
  
  


**“We’ll be back after a short break.” the host looked at the camera and smiled.**

  
  


Haseul left the set and made her way to her waiting room. She had a meeting with her company’s CEO after this and she might be late because of the fact that the shooting got delayed. She needed to at least make a call in advance.

  
  
  


**“And now we’re back!” the host said fifteen minutes after the break. “Before our commercial we asked Haseul-ssi what’s the reason for her break-up with Ha Sooyoung-ssi. If I were to ask you Haseul-ssi, is this Ha Sooyoung the same Ha Sooyoung we all knew? Or is it someone who just shared the same name with her?”**

  
  


Haseul almost scoffed. Of course, they would be looking through her background and they wouldn’t leave it for the world to know. The only thing that would keep this interview going is to her telling the truth. 

  
  


**“Yes, she’s that Ha Sooyoung.” she answered plainly.**

  
  
  


The host gave an amusing smile as if she’s proud of Haseul for being honest. She’s an idol after all - and being an idol has a corresponding punishment for being too honest sometimes. She’s proud of Haseul for being brave.

**“So, it’s that Ha Sooyoung - youngest lawyer in Korea to receive the ‘National Law Journal’s Lawyer of the Year Award’, not only that she’s a successful medical lawyer but she’s a model as well. She’s quite famous in the industry, isn’t she?” she looked at Haseul as if she’s asking her but the other girl shrugged.**

  
  


**“I actually know nothing about her life now. I only know she’s a big-shot now - not that I know what she does or something.”**

  
  


It’s true. Haseul didn’t bother knowing what Sooyoung had been doing the day she walked out of her life unannounced. It’s not like Haseul doesn’t want to know, it’s just that she can’t. Sooyoung walked out of her life as fast as she walked into it and left without a single trace where the older girl can find her. It’s as if thirteen years of her life didn’t happen.  _ A ghost _ , Haseul would always think.

  
  


The host looked at Haseul and sighed,  **“What caused your breakup?”**

  
  
  


To be honest, Haseul doesn’t know as well. Yesterday, she’s still with Sooyoung after the younger girl stayed for dinner and they talked about their incoming graduation. The next day, Sooyoung left - without a trace. Without even saying goodbye. Without ending whatever relationship they had for three years. Haseul only knew about her leaving through their homeroom teacher, saying that Sooyoung’s going to continue studying in Seoul and that’s effective immediately.

  
  


She could still remember the look on her face when she asked if they would still go to college together. They used to talk a lot about Seoul, since Sooyoung came from there - she would always tell Haseul how magnificent Seoul was, how big the buildings are, and how the city never sleeps - lights around the metro that screams life.

  
  


Haseul used to look forward to going to Seoul, now she loathes every part of it. It’s like she’s blaming the place that keeps her and Sooyoung away. It’s an irony now though, because Seoul is life for her now. 

  
  


Haseul could only reminisce the time she first fell in love - the first ‘I love you’s’, now gone.

  
  


**“If Haseul-ssi can’t answer our question, let’s just hear it directly from her former girlfriend. Everyone, let’s welcome Ha Sooyoung-ssi.” the host said.**

  
  
  


Haseul can’t believe what she heard. She looked at the host anxiously as if she’s waiting for her to say that it’s just a bad joke but her eyes are telling the truth. She looked at her manager and Chaewon just shrugged, as if saying ‘don’t drag me into your business’. 

  
  


Six years - six years of radio silence. Six years of no communication between them. Years of Haseul loathing the younger girl and cursing her existence. She’s not ready to meet Sooyoung anytime soon but when will she really be ready? 

As she’s flooded with her thoughts, a silhouette of a woman she thought she’ll never see again walked towards her. As the shadows became lighter, Haseul saw her first love. She’s still the same… same dimple near her nose, same bunny teeth that she fell in love with, same smile - but now it became much more sophisticated. 

  
  


Ha Sooyoung is still drop dead gorgeous, Haseul thought.

  
  
  


The host urged Sooyoung to sit beside Haseul, still keeping a mere distance between them. Haseul felt really awkward and she knew Sooyoung is too. She’s just wondering why the younger girl accepted this interview, and at what costs?

  
  
  


**“Thank you so much for making time for us on just short notice Sooyoung-ssi.” the host said to the younger girl.**

  
  
  


Sooyoung smiled as if saying it’s no problem,  **“No worries. I’m not busy at the moment.”**

  
  


Haseul can’t help but scoff.

  
  
  
  


**“Ehem, so Sooyoung-ssi. You and Haseul-ssi go a long way back. Can you please tell us your relationship with Haseul-ssi?”**

  
  


**“Seulie and I were childhood best friends. I came from Seoul when I was four years old and then I asked my father if I could stay and live with my mom.” she answered.**

  
  


Haseul rolled her eyes at the nickname.

  
  


**“So you’re best friends? How and what made you think that you like Haseul then?” the host continued.**

  
  
  


**“I started knowing I like her. That time she avoided me. I was thinking if I did something to make her upset but the feelings got worse when I knew that I didn’t do anything bad. Seems like I’ve liked her for so long and just realized it during that time.”**

  
  
  
  


**“Just like what I asked Haseul-ssi earlier, how did the two of you break up? Is there someone new? Did you fall out of love? Since the public always knows you as a heartbreaker.”**

  
  
  


Sooyoung laughed, and Haseul almost wanted to smile. The younger girl is still so charming.

  
  
  


**“Contrary to the popular belief, I am not a heartbreaker. And there certainly isn’t a third party. That’s why I accepted to be in this show. To make an apology to Haseul - she’s the only person I owe an apology for.”**

  
  
  


**“You don’t owe me an apology… you owe my late grandmother one.” Haseul interrupted.**

  
  
  


She can still remember that time when the two of them told Haseul’s family that they were dating. Her mom and Yeojin weren’t surprised at all, but the look from Haseul’s grandmother makes Sooyoung scared.

  
  


She made a promise to her that she’ll never leave Haseul’s side no matter what happens. That she’ll always make Haseul happy. That they’ll stay together until they get older.

  
  
  


**“I’m sorry.” the younger one muttered.**

  
  
  
  


**“You’re six years late.”**

  
  
  
  
  
  


The host looked at the people in front of her sitting awkwardly beside each other. She needed to do something, an ice-breaker maybe.

  
  
  
  


**“Can you answer my question now Sooyoung-ssi?”**

  
  
  


Sooyoung nodded and explained,  **“I never wanted to leave in the first place…”** she stopped, staring directly at Haseul’s eyes.  **“The day I went into your house that time, the last time we saw each other - was also the day my mom died.”**

  
  
  


Haseul looked shocked. It’s not the reason she’s expecting to hear from Sooyoung. Her mom was really sweet, she heard that she was in the hospital when she was dating the other girl and they went to the hospital to visit her at times - but never in her life she thought that her mother died. She always blames Sooyoung for leaving her alone not knowing that Sooyoung was alone as well. At least she had her mother, but Sooyoung… Sooyoung had herself.

  
  


Everything makes sense now, Sooyoung’s sudden withdrawal from school weeks before their graduation. Them talking about everything that day, still being in love and happy. Haseul can’t help but blame herself that she thought the younger girl only played with her feelings. She suddenly feels small for going into the conclusion without knowing the real reason.

  
  


**“I don’t have a choice Seulie…”** the younger girl bit her lip to avoid her tears from falling.  **“I don’t have a choice but to come and live with my father… I’m still a minor back then. I don’t have anyone to cry to. I don’t have someone to tell that I’m in pain, I didn’t even cry during the funeral thinking that my father would just scold me and call me weak for crying… it hurts. It hurts leaving you, but it hurts more thinking that I don’t have my mom waking me up every morning anymore. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I chose to move on and forget everything just because I thought I don’t deserve to be happy…”** her tears started to fall.

  
  
  


**“You’re not alone. You have me back then…”** Haseul said softly.

  
  
  


**“I can’t do that to you Seulie. I don’t want to drag you down just because I’m lost. You have dreams and inspirations, I don’t want to be the reason you’ll let go of them.”**

  
  
  


**“You told me we’ll do anything… together.”** Haseul replied.

  
  
  


**“We still did it together, just in different places. You get to do what you really want in life, and I - I did what I’m supposed to be, I guess.”**

  
  
  


**“You said you never wanted to be a lawyer.”** the older stated the obvious.

  
  
  


Sooyoung smiled and shook her head.

  
  
  


**“I did. I never wanted to be a lawyer, I still don’t. At least one of us gets to fulfill their dreams right?”** Sooyoung asked, smiling.

  
  
  


**“It’s not a dream because you aren’t there with me to celebrate it.”**

  
  
  


**“Who says I’m not?”** Sooyoung asked.

  
  
  


**“What do you mean?”** the older girl asked, confused by Sooyoung.

  
  
  


**“I was always there with you. I always watch you. I was there when you auditioned for Blockberry Creative. One of the producers was my dad’s client once and I asked to watch you. I was there when you were chosen to debut - I mean not physically but you get it. I was also there watching your first music show, how you would fidget your fingers whenever you’re nervous. Old habits never really die right, Seulie? I was there when you first won on a music show, the first award ceremony you’ve been through and won awards? I was there.”** Sooyoung paused,  **“Jo Haseul-ssi, you might not know but I never really left. I celebrated everything with you. I cried together with you… I promised you didn’t I? I’ll always be with you.”**

  
  
  


Haseul cried… her best friend never really left her side. She thought she was alone, thought Sooyoung left her without a reason and broke her heart. But the younger girl never really left even though she’s hurting herself. She hated her for years - but I guess, she just wanted an explanation.

  
  
  


**“You’re my best friend Haseul, the most important person in the world for me - still is. I wouldn’t trade anything for your happiness. I’m sorry if the explanations are long overdue. Our time together as a couple might have come to an end years ago, I still love you because you’re my best friend. You’re the reason why I keep striving hard to not become hard on myself - the only one who saw me through the facade I’ve built.”** she paused.

  
  


**“You… are my soulmate, Seulie.”**

  
  
  


Haseul smiled - a genuine one in a while. All those questions she had inside her head regarding her best friend, now gone.

  
  
  


**“You are mine, too.”**

**Author's Note:**

> Will probably post a sequel in twitter, so if you have time and want to read it I would just leave my writing account here @yvestories :)


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